Many moons ago, on a safari in Africa, my wife and I were watching hippos wallowing in the muddy water of a river. In this tranquil environment, there is a special feature: a bird perches quietly on the hippo’s back, occasionally bending down to nibble. When we asked our guide Simon what the bird was doing, he said, “They have a symbiotic relationship. The bird eats the bugs off the hippo’s back, relieving it of its troubles, while the hippo provides the bird with safety and plenty of food.” Food. They both benefit through solidarity, which is another way of describing a strategic partnership.
We often hear individuals and teams within organizations cite the goal of becoming a “strategic partner.” But how many of the people you work with, both inside and outside your business, do you consider to be true strategic partners? The answer is: not enough. A strategic partner is someone who provides insight and support that benefits another person or team. True strategic partners do three things to demonstrate their ability to deliver the highest level of value.
1. They seek to understand each other’s priorities. We each have a to-do list for the day, guidance our activities to get our What we do will help us achieve our Target. This is exactly the hurdle we need to overcome to become a strategic partner: focusing on “our” stuff. Think about the concentration you need to pay attention in a meeting to truly listen to your colleagues, deeply understand what they are saying, and then ask an insightful question based on their thinking. Observe undisciplined people in meetings and you’ll see them preparing monologues in response like horses at the starting gate in the Kentucky Derby.
Understanding the other party’s priorities involves identifying their goals and strategies. Their goals are what they typically want to achieve, and their strategies are how they typically achieve their goals. Asking someone to share their top goals and strategies at the beginning of a conversation is an effective way to begin to understand their priorities or what’s important to them. It’s also key to finding common ground on which you can build the necessary support structures to enhance each other’s activities and achievements. The use of tools such as the GOST framework provides a common language for discussing objectives, strategies and tactics so that both parties can communicate in the most effective way.
2. They use the “Yes, and…” technique. It’s a basic human truth: People don’t like to be told “no.” Go ahead, try this: ask for something you want, maybe a delicious pepperoni pizza, or a second glass of Sauvignon Blanc at the bistro, and how would you feel if the answer is “no”? Bad, angry or sad. The dirty secret about “strategy” is that we must intentionally choose not to perform or postpone certain tasks and projects in order to focus on our goals. We can’t be everything to everyone all the time. We need to de-prioritize certain things to focus on others. So, how do we reconcile the need to say “no” with the fact that our strategic partners don’t want to hear the word “no”?
simple. We say “yes”. great! Everyone likes to hear “yes” to their requests. More specifically, we use the phrase “Yes, and…”. For those involved in the art of improvisational theater, the “yes, and…” technique is familiar. In improv comedy sketches, one of the main rules is to never say “no” to your partner during a scene. Why? Because it slows down action and hinders progress. In a business setting, we don’t say “no” – which we understand people don’t want to hear anyway – we say “yes, and…” and share with them how to meet their request. Here are examples of using no or “Yes, and…”:
“The boss said she needs to receive your report tomorrow morning instead of next Monday. Can you give it to her?
“No.” Potential consequences: anger, resentment, not being a team player, future retribution, career limitations.
“Yes, I need someone from your team to give a presentation for a client meeting tomorrow afternoon. Who do you recommend I take from your team to spend time doing this?
This response leaves a positive impression, makes partners aware of the tradeoffs both parties need to make, makes them think about whether they want to use one person from the team for another task, and makes them think twice before making a request .
3. They generate insights. When looking for others to support your efforts and plans, it’s important to determine whether they will bring insights. Insight is learning that brings new value. Does the individual or group you are considering working with offer a different perspective and perspective on the situation? Do they have a track record of bringing new ideas, approaches and options to solve challenges? Are they willing to disrupt the status quo and pivot between incremental and revolutionary to achieve their goals?
Questions are a powerful but often overlooked source of insight. The questions a person asks reflect the depth and breadth of their thinking. Think about the most interesting conversation you’ve had in the past few weeks. How many people are triggered by an interesting, open-ended question? In the strategic thinking and innovation workshops I facilitate, I find that three questions used together can spark a wealth of insights that lead to new solutions. The question is 1) Why? 2) What if? 3) How?
Here is an example of one of the most successful companies founded in the last 20 years: 1) Why do we only rent movies and TV shows? 2) What if the video rental business operated like a health club and a movie studio? 3) How to reduce costs and increase the amount of content people can watch at one time? How many questions did it take you to guess Netflix?
While it’s easier for us to focus on what we want, arrogantly say no, and settle for the status quo, we significantly diminish our value to others and organizations. Becoming a true strategic partner requires leaders to take a more disciplined path by understanding others’ priorities, leveraging “yes, and…” and generating insights. There is no point in claiming to be a strategic partner if you don’t have the mindset and behaviors to achieve it.
