You don’t need a black Apple Watch Ultra 2.
Nothing really new here. This is related to Ordinary super 2. The only difference is that this is black. That’s it. Just a reminder: Ultra 2 costs $800. I think we, rational humans, would all agree to upgrade to only A new color. If the black Ultra 2 is ugly, that’s a given.
Alas, looks very sick.
This is the Apple Watch Batman would buy. Never mind that it’s just a mini brick on my wrist. When I put it on to take pictures, I felt something wash over me. I’m no longer a sleep-deprived, hunched-over tech reviewer drinking overpriced coffee. I’m a leather-clad vampire assassin calmly sipping espresso on cobblestone streets. With the new black Reflections dial, I instantly upgraded to 1,000 Mystery Points. I’ve turned into a tech-savvy corporate goth when I switched to the Flux watch face. A grown up ex-emo girl who does her taxes on time during the day but still mentally sticks it to men because, look, I wear my combat boots to work. (Never mind they have orthotic insoles.) I posed for a photo here and a Wall Street girl walked past me. “Get it, sis,” she said, looking at my all-black suit.
When I got back to the office, edge Employees who already own Ultras come to my desk. Their faces were pinched in agony. They look at me hopefully and ask, “Should I buy this?” I whisper, “No.” We both know it’s a fool’s errand. The only way to end temptation is to give in to it. No matter what, we’re all going through the motions.
Nothing I did with this new black Ultra 2 was any different than my regular Ultra 2. Until I noticed an almost imperceptible gap. Really, you wouldn’t see it unless I pointed it out to you. I I only noticed it because I kept looking at this watch. But now, I wonder how scratch-resistant a custom sandblasted black titanium surface with a “diamond-like carbon physical vapor deposition coating” is. The only way to find out is through rigorous long-term testing. I decided to wear a cool black watch more often. For science. Not at all because I wanted to feel cool.
1/5
As I write this, I have a hard time choosing which morbid photos will end up on the site. The aura is impeccable. After a while, I started to get philosophical about the colors on my personal installations. Why the pink iPhone 16 brings joy, but my “dark purple” one iPhone 14 Pro Max fills me with fiery rage? Why do I feel strangely happy when something comes in a color I like? Why does finding the perfect nail polish color tickle my brain so deeply? I fell down the Wikipedia rabbit hole, but the ultimate answer is because I like it and it makes me feel something. Life was hard, the news was bleak, and as time passed, I became acutely aware that I rarely allowed myself to feel childlike joy.
There’s absolutely no logic in buying a black Ultra 2 – especially if you already own one. However, no every You have to use your brain to buy. Sometimes you can buy something just because it’s fun, only if it doesn’t cause harm.